The Great Facebook Friend Purge of 2014! AKA Milo finally deletes some people after putting it off for longer than necessary because he doesn’t want anyone to notice and have hurt feelings. Anxiety party at my place! Be there or… I’ll be worried that you’re not going to actually come… or be square.
It’s a punk rock kind of night. The kind of night when my partner is sound asleep, looking like an angel, and I’m in the next room blasting my music on my headphones. It feels so good to listen to music alone. It’s a whole different experience than just listening to it as background sound or even listening with other people.
Listening to some old Against Me! tunes tonight. Laura Jane Grace is so fucking brilliant. Moving on to some of their new stuff after this.
My evening playlist includes, but is not limited to: The Distillers, Against Me! (beginning through 2014… I’m really loving Unconditional Love right now), Green Day (1991-2002), Millencolin, The Bouncing Souls, The Offspring…
Falling asleep to songs I used to listen to playing in my ears feels amazing. Now I just have to convince (f)Emma that this is good music. Possibly a hopeless endeavor. I have her convinced on a couple of Against Me! songs. We’ll see!
Charlie and Arthur were in the same room today! Arthur only hissed once, which is good considering it’s her territory and little Charlie is new to her. We’ll truly introduce them tomorrow or Sunday. Cuuuuuuuuttteee. (f)Emma and I keep accidentally confusing each other by calling one or the other cat, “the littles”, “the mitten”, or “the baby” because that could be either cat. Oops.
I feel so beautiful this morning. I realized last night that I’ve been feeling my chest recently, as if to make sure that they’re not still there, that my body is no longer a prison. I love the feeling of fabric against my skin! A breeze blew against my shirt yesterday and I realized that I haven’t felt the sensation in a long time. It was new, almost like I’d never felt it before, like it was far away before and now it’s mine. I can’t wait until it heals more and the scars fade more, they look amazing now though. I feel so beautiful.
I have been having a hard time with my belly recently. My whole body has changed because I wore the long compression top from Underworks (as well as a tri-top over it) and my tummy was compressed as well. Now, nothing is compressed and my belly is a brand NEW thing. My whole torso has changed drastically, not just my chest itself. It’s hard but I am working on loving it because I am beautiful and I need to remember that I feel like this at times when I feel like this is untrue.
My body is my home and no longer my prison, I love my chest and loving my chub belly will come in time. I feel beautiful, my home is beautiful. I am beautiful.
Remember: just because you identify as non-binary doesn’t mean you have to aspire to be read as androgynous or genderless.